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How to Deal with a Break Up

Providing a specific guide on how to deal with a break up can be quite challenging, based on the different ways that people act (or react) to emotional situations.

Understanding that every break up is a potentially intense situation will eventually go a long way on learning how to get over a break up. Regardless of the cause of the break up, one thing is definite, there will always be two parties involved; the one being dumped and the other doing the dumping.

It is equally important to understand in the context of how to deal with a break up that not all relationships end harshly or violently. However, regardless of the result, it is understandable that the feeling of loss is always expected to a certain degree.

In learning how to deal with a break up, it is vital that people understand that relationships are not necessarily romantic in nature to cause emotional pain. Sometimes people also need to know how to deal with a break up with a close and longtime friend.

Day after the Break Up

This is normally referred to as the protest stage, primarily because acceptance of the break up has not yet sunk in. This is one of the most important stages where knowing how to deal with a break up becomes extremely vital. The range of emotions that are experienced during this stage can be despair, rage, intense hatred, or even love. This is also the point where either or both parties become vulnerable emotionally.

According to a study of the University of Illinois, the normal male reaction would be to focus their negative emotions to physical aggression. This means that in the context of how to deal with a break up men would likely punch a wall or some jerk at some place like a bar.

A more positive way to deal with such aggression would be to do some physical activities like going to the gym, engaging in resistance training, or doing some cardio exercises. The fatigue will help to reduce tension and anger. For women, the usual response would be to cry as much as they can. Statistically, women do cry five times more than men.

Moreover, about 85% of women will confirm that they feel a certain degree of relief after crying. In the context of learning how to deal with a break up, it is important to understand that if she ended it, it does not necessarily mean she is having second thoughts. In the same manner that if he ended it, he should not let the tears overturn his decision.

Basically, during this stage the most critical thing to know on how to deal with a break up is to have the ability to let it all out. This will allow you to move on and begin your step towards the next stage of the break up process and ultimately achieve healing.

A Month after the Break Up

This is normally considered as the ‘worst is over stage’ by the researchers of the University of Virginia. Usually, in the context of learning how to deal with a break up, this is one of the points where the person begins to feel happy with himself (or herself) again. In fact, majority of people who have experienced break up feel as happy as couples in a relationship once they reach this stage.

Based on a study done by the University of Nebraska, men who have been dumped begin calling their exes once they reach this stage. The sad part though is that they normally do it while they are intoxicated. This of course is utterly disrespectful for the ex-girlfriend.

What is better in terms of knowing how to deal with a break up is to try to begin a journal and start venting your feelings on it. The downside of contacting your ex-girlfriend is that the man usually begins feeling self-pity again. The journal allows him to maintain positive feelings and does not need to be shared openly.

For the woman, this stage represents a point where they begin to start blaming themselves for the relationship fizzling out. This is regardless whether she did the dumping, or she was the one that was dumped. Normally, the triggering factor is loneliness.

Once she feels this, she begins to miss her ex-boyfriend and starts entertaining thoughts of getting back together. How to deal with a break up? Avoid any form of contact and keep on distancing yourself, trying to become friends too soon may lead to regression and prolonged pain.

During this stage where you are already nearing conquering the steepest part of the break up process, it is important to keep on reminding yourself of the good things that you have. This is really important in terms of learning how to deal with a break up since people have the tendency to take on the blame for failed relationships.

Never think that you deserve unhappiness, but rather, remind yourself constantly of your good qualities and never allow dark clouds to ruin the way you feel about yourself.

Six Months after the Break Up

For most people, this is the graduation stage. Here is where the person begins to entertain thoughts of acceptance, and possibly begin looking at the possibility of seeing other people again.

In the context of knowing how to deal with a break up, you will realize that you have reached this stage when you open your eyes to the fact that your ex-boyfriend has not been in your mind for the past week or more. This means that you actually are prepared to move on and successfully learned how to deal with a break up.

It is a fact that men have the ability to become emotionally calm faster than women. Because of this, they attain a state of equilibrium faster and begin dating earlier. In the context of how to deal with a break up, this emphasizes the point why women should attempt to avoid all contacts with the ex-boyfriend until they reach this stage.

Chances are, men will often be seen by their ex-girlfriends dating which will make it more difficult for her to reach the same level of liberty. When learning how to deal with a break up, women usually have one word in mind, closure. This concept is something which effectively holds back women from achieving the same state of equilibrium in a faster time.

The concept of closure though may mean that the woman regrets not being able to tell the man that she didn’t really love him and curses the feeling of being dumped. The same concept may also mean that she wants to prove that she is better without the boyfriend. The problem with this scenario is that the woman normally does all these because of the ex-boyfriend rather than for herself.

In the final stage of learning how to deal with a break up, the focus should be on giving yourself time to heal. It is true that sadness may take time, but it is time well spent. The exact amount of time will also depend on how deep the emotional wound is. You will know how to deal with a break up better and faster if you begin to enjoy the things you normally do.

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