Lots of girls want to know how to get over a guy, after all breakups are no fun!
Everyone has their own opinions on what to do after a tough breakup, but not all approaches are good for you in the long run.
Follow our steps to patch up your emotions and move on.
Some post-breakup behavior, like binge-eating sweets and snacks, may be comforting for a bit, but it’s not the kind of habit you want to get into. Likewise, it might be temping to schedule a girls’ night out and load up on Bacardi, but that’s probably not the best idea for longterm results.
After you or your man decided to call off the relationship, your biggest concern is what do to with all your new-found free time. We often build our schedules around our significant other when we’re in a relationship: we go to events, parties, movies and all kinds of things together. When things go sour, you find yourself with a huge gap in your day – and how you recognize and fill this time will decide how successful you are at getting over a guy.
Why to learn how to get over a guy?
Did you ever date a guy who had a crazy ex girlfriend? She may have kept calling him, tagging him in weird posts on Facebook or doing some other crazy thing that caused all kinds of drama. Your obvious goal is not to turn into her! Or maybe you have a friend who is really scarred by a past relationship and has all kinds of problems with dating and creating healthy new relationships.
These are the kinds of things that can happen if people don’t get over their past relationships! Being a couple is a powerful thing that can change us for the better or worse, so you’ve got to be sure that you don’t carry any baggage from your past.
What to do to get over a man
Everyone has their own tricks for dealing with a particularly strong relationship and not all of these approaches will apply to your circumstances. However, you should still give each of them a shot! Maybe a few things won’t gel with your personality and you’ll drop them. But maybe a couple of these ideas will lead you down interesting paths that benefit you as a person. The guiding rule for getting over a guy is give everything a shot and see where you end up!
1. Dropping all contact with your ex
His facebook upsets you, so block it
Sometimes people call this the no contact rule (check out our post for all the nitty-gritty on it), but the basic idea is to just move on with your life like your ex doesn’t exist. This behavior may be a little extreme in some cases, but the less contact you have with your ex, the less you will think about him and the better you will feel.
It makes sense, right? If seeing or thinking about someone makes you upset or depressed, then why would you continue to see them? Cutting your ex boyfriend out of your life doesn’t need to be a permanent change, but it’ll do wonders for you if you can stick with it for the first 2 weeks or so after your breakup.
2. Give yourself time to mope and release your emotions
You’re probably overrun with a variety strong emotions that depend on how your relationship ended. Maybe your depressed, angry, confused or secretly a little happy. However you may feel, allow yourself to release those emotions!
If you want to order Chinese food and eat it in front of the TV while watching friends, then go ahead! If you want to sit around the house all day on Saturday in your pajamas and eat icecream, then go ahead! Indulge yourself a little and give yourself some time to release your pent-up feelings.
However (and this is the super important part): only give yourself a few days to mope around and wallow in your own feelings! Do not let laziness, icecream and sappy TV shows become part of your lifestyle. If you let this kind of behavior seep into your regular habits, then you will prolong the time it takes to get over your guy.
Remember: two days to one week of lazy, messy, emotional releases and then it’s time to move on and look for better ways to deal with your situation.
3. Get active
Breakups can take a massive toll on your health, both mentally and physically. One of the best ways to fight depression, release anger and feel much better about yourself is to get some exercise.
Now, you don’t have to be down at the gym at 5am 6 days a week, but some form of exercise needs to be part of your week. Ideally, you should be getting a minimum of 45 minutes, 4 times a week.
Some people hate the gym and that’s fine. There are plenty of ways to find get your heart pumping without going to the gym, like:
running around your neighborhood, jump rope, riding a bike, calisthenics in your house…seriously, pick one and try it for a week to see if it’s for you, just do something to get out of the house! As long as it gets your heart pumping for 45 minutes, it’s okay!
If you’re interested in sports, then you can easily combine your exercise routine with our next tip:
4. Socialize!
Perhaps the number one thing that prevents women from learning how to get over a breakup is they let their social lives suffer after a breakup. Being around people does wonders for your self esteem and attitude. When you’re in a relationship, lots of your social activities involve your significant other, which is why it’s so important to rebuild your social life ASAP.
For starters, you may want to call up some of your friends and organize a night out on the town. According to our #2 point, it’s okay to get sloppy drunk and indulge yourself once or twice after a breakup if that’s your thing, but don’t make it a habit.
If you’re really stuck and not sure where to start with your social life, then we recommend using sites like facebook and meetup.com to find interesting stuff around your city. Make a list of a few things you like doing: watching foreign films, going to museums, playing sports, checking out music, drinking coffee/tea or playing video games and find a new group of people who’re into the same things. It might be intimidating going into a new social circle for the first time, but making new friends will help massively if you’re still hurt by your past relationship.
One final thought on how to get over a guy:
It takes time. Everyone needs different amounts of time to heal and move on with their lives. You might turn things around in a week or it could take a few months. The important thing to keep in your head is that you’re making progress each week. If you’ve tried our steps and you still feel bad, then just stick with it! Try new activities and broaden your horizons as much as you can.
Also, take a minute to sign up below to get our free ebook on getting over a breakup quickly. We’ll also send you our video course that shares lots of other ideas for making yourself feel better and moving on with your life.
Got other ideas on how to get over a guy? Share them below in the comments!
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