Been asking yourself “how to get my ex back?”
Whenever a relationship goes sour unexpectedly, it’s pretty natural to want to patch things up and get back on track. There are ways to make your ex take you back, but you need to approach this delicate situation very carefully.
The first step is to decide if the relationship is really worth salvaging. We naturally want to fight against change in our relationship, but there are circumstances when you should accept the breakup and move on. For example, if you were in an abusive relationship, if you and your partner didn’t trust each other or if you had broken up in the past and gotten back together, then it’s time to really consider dropping the whole thing. In most cases, infidelity ends all chances of a makeup, but the relationship may be saveable depending on the details.
The First Steps for How to Get My Ex Back
Once you’ve decided to try to win your ex back, it’s time to think of a plan. If you approach getting my ex back haphazardly, then the stakes are against you. In fact, you may end up pushing your ex further away from you!
First, think about how much contact you have to keep with your ex. The best idea is to completely drop all contact with your ex for a few weeks, but there are situations in which you’ll have to keep talking. For example, if you work or go to school together, then you’ll probably have to speak with your ex sometimes. However, you do not want to constantly call, text or chat with your ex. Even though you want to get back together, for the next few weeks you need to pretend like it really is over.
This means that you should give your ex back any belongings that he left at your house, stop calling him “just to chat” and basically forget about him. Now, since you want to get back with your ex, you need to let him now what you’re doing so that you don’t completely turn him off.
Writing the Letter to Get My Ex Back
The easiest way to keep away from your significant other while still staying cordial is to write him or her a nice letter. In this letter, you want to explain that you agree with the breakup, but you need some time apart so that you can clear your head so he shouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t hear from you for a few weeks.
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Setting the Stage
Now that your ex isn’t expecting to hear from you, it’s time to be mysterious for a few weeks or months. In brief here’s the plan: you’re going to focus on self improvement and ways to make yourself look, feel and sound great. Then, you’ll unexpectedly run into your ex and amaze him with how well you’re doing. He’ll be curious, concerned and impressed with you and you’ll be able to setup “catchup” meetings to slowly rekindle your relationship.
The first step in that direction is to figure out how you’re going to constructively deal with breakup pain. You could do the standard thing and be a depressed-icecream-eating slob, but that won’t help your image with your ex.
Instead, figure out how you’re going to stay active and keep your mind off the past for a few weeks. For starters, make a list of your favorite hobbies. I’m sure there are plenty of activities that you haven’t had time to do lately because you’ve been wrapped up in a relationship: things like playing music, volunteering, traveling, arts and crafts or whatever.
Once you’ve got a list, it’s time to figure out how you can use your hobbies to get you out of the house. This part is so essential! It will rebuild your social life and help you feel a lot better about the whole situation. For example, which do you think is a better use of your time: playing sad songs on your guitar in your house by yourself or getting out once a week to play music with new people?
Ideally, you should be getting out for at least an hour each day to spend some time on your own interests. This might not work for everyone’s schedule, but do avoid spending the weekend shut in and watching cheesy movies.
Hobbies will keep you active and let you rebuild a social life, but the other important aspect of learning how to get my ex back is to pay attention to your health! If you’re like me, then you probably put on a few extra pounds around the time you broke up (hey! it’s normal to eat a lot when you’re feeling down!). So, what’s your plan to burn off those extra calories?
Exercise after a breakup isn’t really about getting ripped. When you exert yourself, your body does create and release some chemicals that make you feel better, which can help you fight off post-breakup depression. Also, staying fit is oh-so-important for the next step, which is getting in touch with your ex again.
Putting It All Together
So, you’ve spent a few weeks (ideally almost a month) working on your hobbies, you’ve made some new friends and you’ve gotten in a bit better shape from working out and now it’s time to revisit this whole winning my ex back thing.
The first step is to break the no contact with him or her, but to do it in a completely innocent way that will peak his/her curiosity. For example, maybe one of your hobbies was dog grooming and you’ve made plans to go see some famous doggy show. And maybe your ex is even more obsessed with cute little doggies than you are.
So here’s what you do, you call him up and leave a super-cryptic message like “Hey Mike, it’s me. Haven’t heard from you lately so I just wanted to call and see what you’re up to. Oh, I have some great news, too! It’s really exciting, oh hang on a sec though, I gotta run, I’ll tell you about it later.” CLICK.
A message like this is gonna drive your ex crazy! He’ll wonder what the super special news is and it’s highly likely that he’ll call you back. And this is where you really start planning how to get my ex back…
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