How to Get Over a Girl
After a sour breakup, every guy is looking to get over his ex girlfriend quickly so he can get on with his life. Some breakups are worse than others and it can take up to several months (sometimes years!) to really get it together and move on. There are some tricks that can help you speed up the process, but they won’t all work in every situation, so see which ones apply to your case.
Use our guide to avoid nasty breakups
First and foremost, it’s okay to be hurt by your breakup. Lots of guys fall into this macho I-can’t-be-wronged-by-a-woman thing and try to subdue their emotions. Holding in your emotions will only lengthen your recovery process, so don’t be afraid to let your feelings out.
Pitfalls to Avoid When Getting Over a Girl
Before we get into the techniques for moving on, it’s important to talk about a few things that most guys do after a breakup that don’t help. These pitfalls will often just irritate your ex, make you look stupid and make you more depressed or upset.
First, stop calling, emailing, texting and Facebook messaging her. Be really careful about drunk/early morning text messages to your ex! In order for the other methods to work, you’ve got to keep your mind off of your ex and trying to get in touch with her is just going to bring up some older memories.
Second, be careful not to party too much. It’s perfectly okay to get out and keep your social life together, but you really need to watch your use of drugs and alcohol. This point doesn’t apply to lots of people, but if you’re once of them, then be careful with what you’re taking.
How to Get Over a Girl the Right Way
A big part of getting over an ex girlfriend quickly and painlessly is just keeping yourself busy. Back up and think about your situation for a minute: when you’re in a relationship, how much time do you spend with your significant other? How many activities do you do together? If you were in any sort of serious relationship, your time commitment was probably pretty high, right?
Now that you’re not spending time with your ex, you’ve got a huge daily (or maybe weekly) time slot to fill. If you don’t actively look for things to do in your spare time, you’re going to be facing too much downtime. You can very easily fill your days with not-so-constructive activities, like drinking, playing video games and being lazy around the house. Inactivity will prolong the breakup recovery process a lot!
So the easiest way to figure out how to get over a girl is to consciously fill up your new-found free time with constructive activities. One of the easiest ways to get started is to make a quick list of hobbies and activities that you really enjoy. Ideally, you should think of things that you can do socially: so instead of going to the gym by yourself, take a Taekwondo class or join a hiking group.
Once you have a list of 4 – 5 activities, figure out how you can spend at least an hour a day on them. You don’t have to micromanage your time, but the more effort you put into getting active after a breakup, the easier it’ll be to get over the girl.
When you’re out and about playing music with friends, volunteering downtown or taking a free community college class, you’re not going to be thinking about your ex. You’ll be in an environment in which you have to get in the right headspace in order to get things done. There are other ways to fill your time, but we recommend hobbies because we think it’s better to do things that you enjoy instead of asking for extra hours at work.
Keep Your Social Life Together After a Breakup
Get out to the bar and you'll feel much better
One area that causes trouble for lots of guys is that their social lives are still somehow connected to their exes. In other words, if you go out with friends, it’s highly likely that you’ll run into your ex and some drama will go down. This situation is really something that you want to avoid while you’re still getting over the relationship.
The tricky part is that if you don’t spend time with your friends, you’ll just be by yourself and that is a recipe for really feeling down. What can you do? Hopefully your hobbies and interests that you listed above will put you in a position where you are meeting new people when you go out. If not, then you should get in touch with some old friends who you don’t see much and start spending more time with them. It’s not about turning your back on your social structure, but you do need to enlarge your horizons if you want to get over a girl effectively.
Finally, you should really consider going on a few dates! Even if you aren’t looking to get into another relationship right away, getting out with other girls will help you feel better fast. A few words of caution: rebound relationships generally do not work, so try to back off if the girl wants something more out the fling. Also, don’t go for those boring dinner and a movie dates. Instead, base them around activities that are fun and active: like going to the shooting range, hiking or whatever you can find in your area. Go on double dates with friends if you really want to keep things casual.
In closing, remember that everyone is a bit different: some guys will have to keep in contact with their exes a little bit and others won’t be interested in post-breakup dating. The real trick to try everything and see what works for you. If something doesn’t match your personality or doesn’t make you feel better, than drop it and move on to the next idea.
Got other ideas for getting over a girl? Let us know what works for you in our comments below. Also, sign up for our free email video-course below if you want more information on breakups, makeups and moving on with your life.
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