Lots of girls want to know how to get over a guy, after all breakups are no fun!

Everyone has their own opinions on what to do after a tough breakup, but not all approaches are good for you in the long run.

Follow our steps to patch up your emotions and move on.

Some post-breakup behavior, like binge-eating sweets and snacks, may be comforting for a bit, but it’s not the kind of habit you want to get into. Likewise, it might be temping to schedule a girls’ night out and load up on Bacardi, but that’s probably not the best idea for longterm results.

After you or your man decided to call off the relationship, your biggest concern is what do to with all your new-found free time. We often build our schedules around our significant other when we’re in a relationship: we go to events, parties, movies and all kinds of things together. When things go sour, you find yourself with a huge gap in your day – and how you recognize and fill this time will decide how successful you are at getting over a guy.

Why to learn how to get over a guy?

Did you ever date a guy who had a crazy ex girlfriend? She may have kept calling him, tagging him in weird posts on Facebook or doing some other crazy thing that caused all kinds of drama. Your obvious goal is not to turn into her! Or maybe you have a friend who is really scarred by a past relationship and has all kinds of problems with dating and creating healthy new relationships.

These are the kinds of things that can happen if people don’t get over their past relationships! Being a couple is a powerful thing that can change us for the better or worse, so you’ve got to be sure that you don’t carry any baggage from your past.

What to do to get over a man

Everyone has their own tricks for dealing with a particularly strong relationship and not all of these approaches will apply to your circumstances. However, you should still give each of them a shot! Maybe a few things won’t gel with your personality and you’ll drop them. But maybe a couple of these ideas will lead you down interesting paths that benefit you as a person. The guiding rule for getting over a guy is give everything a shot and see where you end up!

1. Dropping all contact with your ex

His facebook upsets you, so block it

Sometimes people call this the no contact rule (check out our post for all the nitty-gritty on it), but the basic idea is to just move on with your life like your ex doesn’t exist. This behavior may be a little extreme in some cases, but the less contact you have with your ex, the less you will think about him and the better you will feel.

It makes sense, right? If seeing or thinking about someone makes you upset or depressed, then why would you continue to see them? Cutting your ex boyfriend out of your life doesn’t need to be a permanent change, but it’ll do wonders for you if you can stick with it for the first 2 weeks or so after your breakup.

2. Give yourself time to mope and release your emotions

You’re probably overrun with a variety strong emotions that depend on how your relationship ended. Maybe your depressed, angry, confused or secretly a little happy. However you may feel, allow yourself to release those emotions!

If you want to order Chinese food and eat it in front of the TV while watching friends, then go ahead! If you want to sit around the house all day on Saturday in your pajamas and eat icecream, then go ahead! Indulge yourself a little and give yourself some time to release your pent-up feelings.

However (and this is the super important part): only give yourself a few days to mope around and wallow in your own feelings! Do not let laziness, icecream and sappy TV shows become part of your lifestyle. If you let this kind of behavior seep into your regular habits, then you will prolong the time it takes to get over your guy.

Remember: two days to one week of lazy, messy, emotional releases and then it’s time to move on and look for better ways to deal with your situation.

3. Get active

Breakups can take a massive toll on your health, both mentally and physically. One of the best ways to fight depression, release anger and feel much better about yourself is to get some exercise.

Now, you don’t have to be down at the gym at 5am 6 days a week, but some form of exercise needs to be part of your week. Ideally, you should be getting a minimum of 45 minutes, 4 times a week.

Some people hate the gym and that’s fine. There are plenty of ways to find get your heart pumping without going to the gym, like:

running around your neighborhood,  jump rope, riding a bike, calisthenics in your house…seriously, pick one and try it for a week to see if it’s for you, just do something to get out of the house! As long as it gets your heart pumping for 45 minutes, it’s okay!
If you’re interested in sports, then you can easily combine your exercise routine with our next tip:

4. Socialize!

Perhaps the number one thing that prevents women from learning how to get over a breakup is they let their social lives suffer after a breakup. Being around people does wonders for your self esteem and attitude. When you’re in a relationship, lots of your social activities involve your significant other, which is why it’s so important to rebuild your social life ASAP.

For starters, you may want to call up some of your friends and organize a night out on the town. According to our #2 point, it’s okay to get sloppy drunk and indulge yourself once or twice after a breakup if that’s your thing, but don’t make it a habit.

If you’re really stuck and not sure where to start with your social life, then we recommend using sites like facebook and meetup.com to find interesting stuff around your city. Make a list of a few things you like doing: watching foreign films, going to museums, playing sports, checking out music, drinking coffee/tea or playing video games and find a new group of people who’re into the same things. It might be intimidating going into a new social circle for the first time, but making new friends will help massively if you’re still hurt by your past relationship.

One final thought on how to get over a guy:

It takes time. Everyone needs different amounts of time to heal and move on with their lives. You might turn things around in a week or it could take a few months. The important thing to keep in your head is that you’re making progress each week. If you’ve tried our steps and you still feel bad, then just stick with it! Try new activities and broaden your horizons as much as you can.

Also, take a minute to sign up below to get our free ebook on getting over a breakup quickly. We’ll also send you our video course that shares lots of other ideas for making yourself feel better and moving on with your life.

Got other ideas on how to get over a guy? Share them below in the comments!

Providing a specific guide on how to deal with a break up can be quite challenging, based on the different ways that people act (or react) to emotional situations.

Understanding that every break up is a potentially intense situation will eventually go a long way on learning how to get over a break up. Regardless of the cause of the break up, one thing is definite, there will always be two parties involved; the one being dumped and the other doing the dumping.

It is equally important to understand in the context of how to deal with a break up that not all relationships end harshly or violently. However, regardless of the result, it is understandable that the feeling of loss is always expected to a certain degree.

In learning how to deal with a break up, it is vital that people understand that relationships are not necessarily romantic in nature to cause emotional pain. Sometimes people also need to know how to deal with a break up with a close and longtime friend.

Day after the Break Up

This is normally referred to as the protest stage, primarily because acceptance of the break up has not yet sunk in. This is one of the most important stages where knowing how to deal with a break up becomes extremely vital. The range of emotions that are experienced during this stage can be despair, rage, intense hatred, or even love. This is also the point where either or both parties become vulnerable emotionally.

According to a study of the University of Illinois, the normal male reaction would be to focus their negative emotions to physical aggression. This means that in the context of how to deal with a break up men would likely punch a wall or some jerk at some place like a bar.

A more positive way to deal with such aggression would be to do some physical activities like going to the gym, engaging in resistance training, or doing some cardio exercises. The fatigue will help to reduce tension and anger. For women, the usual response would be to cry as much as they can. Statistically, women do cry five times more than men.

Moreover, about 85% of women will confirm that they feel a certain degree of relief after crying. In the context of learning how to deal with a break up, it is important to understand that if she ended it, it does not necessarily mean she is having second thoughts. In the same manner that if he ended it, he should not let the tears overturn his decision.

Basically, during this stage the most critical thing to know on how to deal with a break up is to have the ability to let it all out. This will allow you to move on and begin your step towards the next stage of the break up process and ultimately achieve healing.

A Month after the Break Up

This is normally considered as the ‘worst is over stage’ by the researchers of the University of Virginia. Usually, in the context of learning how to deal with a break up, this is one of the points where the person begins to feel happy with himself (or herself) again. In fact, majority of people who have experienced break up feel as happy as couples in a relationship once they reach this stage.

Based on a study done by the University of Nebraska, men who have been dumped begin calling their exes once they reach this stage. The sad part though is that they normally do it while they are intoxicated. This of course is utterly disrespectful for the ex-girlfriend.

What is better in terms of knowing how to deal with a break up is to try to begin a journal and start venting your feelings on it. The downside of contacting your ex-girlfriend is that the man usually begins feeling self-pity again. The journal allows him to maintain positive feelings and does not need to be shared openly.

For the woman, this stage represents a point where they begin to start blaming themselves for the relationship fizzling out. This is regardless whether she did the dumping, or she was the one that was dumped. Normally, the triggering factor is loneliness.

Once she feels this, she begins to miss her ex-boyfriend and starts entertaining thoughts of getting back together. How to deal with a break up? Avoid any form of contact and keep on distancing yourself, trying to become friends too soon may lead to regression and prolonged pain.

During this stage where you are already nearing conquering the steepest part of the break up process, it is important to keep on reminding yourself of the good things that you have. This is really important in terms of learning how to deal with a break up since people have the tendency to take on the blame for failed relationships.

Never think that you deserve unhappiness, but rather, remind yourself constantly of your good qualities and never allow dark clouds to ruin the way you feel about yourself.

Six Months after the Break Up

For most people, this is the graduation stage. Here is where the person begins to entertain thoughts of acceptance, and possibly begin looking at the possibility of seeing other people again.

In the context of knowing how to deal with a break up, you will realize that you have reached this stage when you open your eyes to the fact that your ex-boyfriend has not been in your mind for the past week or more. This means that you actually are prepared to move on and successfully learned how to deal with a break up.

It is a fact that men have the ability to become emotionally calm faster than women. Because of this, they attain a state of equilibrium faster and begin dating earlier. In the context of how to deal with a break up, this emphasizes the point why women should attempt to avoid all contacts with the ex-boyfriend until they reach this stage.

Chances are, men will often be seen by their ex-girlfriends dating which will make it more difficult for her to reach the same level of liberty. When learning how to deal with a break up, women usually have one word in mind, closure. This concept is something which effectively holds back women from achieving the same state of equilibrium in a faster time.

The concept of closure though may mean that the woman regrets not being able to tell the man that she didn’t really love him and curses the feeling of being dumped. The same concept may also mean that she wants to prove that she is better without the boyfriend. The problem with this scenario is that the woman normally does all these because of the ex-boyfriend rather than for herself.

In the final stage of learning how to deal with a break up, the focus should be on giving yourself time to heal. It is true that sadness may take time, but it is time well spent. The exact amount of time will also depend on how deep the emotional wound is. You will know how to deal with a break up better and faster if you begin to enjoy the things you normally do.